


We Fucked Up (Episode One)

by Run



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Screenplay/Script Format, TAZ Hit and Miss, YouTube
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2019-01-15 14:50:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12323193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Run/pseuds/Run
Summary: Carey and Magnus start a webseries! Some could call it parkour, most would call it a bad idea.Based on the blog tazhitandmiss.tumblr.com





	We Fucked Up (Episode One)

_A shaking parking lot. The shot is out of focus, the camera held in inexperienced hands. Two voices speak from out of sight._

 CAREY (V.O.):

Yeah let’s set up here, I like the light.

 MAGNUS (V.O.):

You don’t know shit about light.

 CAREY (V.O.):  
We’re gonna look so good!

 MAGNUS (V.O.):  
Whatever you say Michael Bay.

 CAREY (V.O.):

Just set up here jackass.

_The camera shakes and rattles, the image shifting rapidly until it focuses on a close up on MAGNUS’ face._

 MAGNUS:  
Could have used your phone, we didn’t need to bring a fucking tripod.

 CAREY:

Is it in focus?

 MAGNUS:

Yeah, I think so.

  _It isn’t. As Magnus backs up the pair of them are still two large blurs. CAREY leans forward to inspect the picture. She then turns to MAGNUS and punches him in the arm._

 CAREY:

You’re pathetic my dude.

 CUT TO-

_The camera is now in focus. MAGNUS and CAREY sit with their backs against their apartment building. They look excited, animated, and more than a little high. Behind them, duct taped to the brick wall, is a cardboard sign bearing the words ‘Sweet Flips’._

 CAREY:

I’m Carey Fangbattle!

 MAGNUS:

And I’m Mangus Burnsides!

 CAREY:

Those are the actual names our parents gave us when we were babies!

 MAGNUS:

And this is-!

_He gestures enthusiastically to the sign behind them, inadvertently knocking it off the wall. It falls behind their backs.  CAREY sighs._

 CAREY:

We fucked up.

 MAGNUS:

That could be the name of the show, honestly.

_CAREY laughs and pulls the sign out from behind her. A beat passes and she and MAGNUS look at each other significantly._

 MAGNUS:

I brought the marker.

 CUT TO-

_CAREY is rewriting the sign. MAGNUS leans over her shoulder, prompting directions._

 MAGNUS:

Now make that part way bigger.

 CAREY:

Dope. Dope. Dope.

 CUT TO-

_The sign is up on the wall again. It’s been flipped around to the formerly blank side. Scrawled in black sharpie are the words ‘We Fucked Up! With Carey and Magnus’. The titular characters smile and simultaneously gesture to the sign_.

 CAREY:

So today, in our inaugural episode, we’re going to be detailing how to safely and responsibly practice parkour and free running.

_MAGNUS nods severely several times before cracking up and dropping his head into his hands, his shoulders shaking under the weight of his laughter. CAREY snorts and doubles over._

 MAGNUS:

Yeah. No. We’re unkillable.

 CAREY:

We’re jumping off the roof!

 CUT TO-

  _CAREY has the camera in her hands now, her arms outstretched in front of her.  Over her shoulder, MAGNUS is jumping while trying to grab the ladder of the fire escape._

 |CAREY:

The plan is to get up on this son of bitch and then once we’re up there, we’re gonna use these things-

_She holds up two onesies in the shape of flying squirrels._

 CAREY:

To parasail off the side of the building!

_MAGNUS grabs ahold of the ancient ladder and drags it down with an earsplitting metallic creak._

 MAGNUS:

Got it!

 CAREY:

Hell yeah!

 CUT TO-

_The camera’s view swings in CAREY’S hands as she ascends the ladder behind Magnus. They reach one of the landings and MAGNUS charges on ahead. The camera focuses as he starts up the rungs._

 CAREY:

Wait wait wait dude wait.

  _MAGNUS pauses and looks over his shoulder, concerned._

 MAGNUS:

What- what’s wrong?

_The camera zooms in on MAGNUS’ butt._

 CAREY:

Your booty looks bangin’ in those jeans hombre.

_MAGNUS grins and visibly blushes, flattered._

 MAGNUS:

Thanks dude.

 CAREY:

Julia pick those bad boys out for you?

MAGNUS:

Barry, actually.

 CAREY:

Man knows his denim. 

 CUT TO-

_MAGNUS and CAREY have reached the roof. CAREY tilts the camera over the edge to get the full scope of the distance to the ground. It’s a long ways down. The view swings to MAGNUS who is also eyeing the jump, his lips pressed together._

 CAREY:

You ready to do this thing, pal?

_MAGNUS snaps out of his reverie and turns to CAREY. He grins enthusiastically, picking up his respective jump suit._

 MAGNUS:

All in!

 CAREY:

Yes!

_But she doesn’t move. MAGNUS’ grin fades. He looks over the side of the building again. CAREY puffs out a breath anxiously._

 

                                                                                                                                CAREY:

So you know what I thought about on the way up here?

 MAGNUS:

My ass?

 CAREY:

Yes. One hundred percent. But in addition to that, on the off chance that this doesn’t work and I die, Killian is gonna be like, incredibly pissed to be a widow three months into our marriage.

_MAGNUS nods sympathetically. A thought occurs and his eyes widen in dawning horror._

 MAGNUS:

Oh shit, if I die Julia will be a widow. Dude, I don’t think I can do that to her!

 CAREY:

Right! That’s marriage 101!

 MAGNUS:

Dude I love my wife, she loves me, we love each other, I can’t die on this roof right now!

 CAREY:

Yep. Yeah. We can’t die, our wives will kill us.

_MAGNUS holds up the onesie and looks into the camera._

 MAGNUS:

So, what are we going to do?

 There’s a pause as CAREY drops her arms, and the camera, to her sides.

 CAREY (V.O.):  
Taako bought Angus that trampoline right?

 MAGNUS(V.O.):

Yeah but he never uses it, it’s basically mine at this point.

 CAREY(V.O.):

Bing. Bang. Boom baby.

 CUT TO-

_CAREY, dressed head to toe as a flying squirrel, flips giddily through the air as she bounces high on a backyard trampoline. MAGNUS laughs from off screen._

 MAGNUS(V.O.):  
Do a barrel roll!

 CAREY:

You’re so old it’s disgusting!

  _The camera flips around to view MAGNUS, also dressed as a flying squirrel._

 MAGNUS:

That’s going to do it for us today! Thanks for watching whoever you are and Jules, if you happen to be watching too, I wasn’t going to jump off the roof I swear. I love you baby. So much.

 CAREY (V.O.):

Mags stop taking selfies and double bounce me!

 MAGNUS:

On it!

 CAREY (V.O.):  
Bring the camera! It’ll look sweet!

_The view blurs and spins as MAGNUS clambers onto the trampoline. He giggles._


End file.
